Some people used to think that I was a bad dog. For example, sometimes I used to pee on rugs inside the house where I used to live.
The people at that house would get very mad at me and put me in a very small tent inside the house. It was miserable. And the cats would laugh at me. They peed and pooped inside the house but they never got in trouble. It made no sense. It was terrible. I try not to think about it.
I don’t know why I was there. They would hardly ever–almost never –take me for walks. And the weird thing is they would buy me lots of necklaces and leashes but I don’t know why cause we didn’t get to go on walks
One day the cat vet said she was going to put me to sleep.
I’m not sure what that means except it’s a bad thing but I don’t know why because I like sleeping very much.
Fortunately my friend Pat rescued me. She scooped me up and put me in the truck and brought me over to the manse where Gus and Todd and Jane and Dorothy live. It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever been in my entire life. You wouldn’t even believe it.
And I get to live there and sleep on all kinds of stuff like really comfy chairs and sofas and blankets and be with wonderful people and eat really good food and drink fresh water all the time and get lots and lots of snacks. And not just cabbage and carrots but real bacon flavored chewy stuff! I mean, have you ever had bacon!? It’s amazingly delicious like nothing I’ve ever had in my entire life. You should try it if you haven’t had any. But anyway, and most of all, I get lots of love! And I get to go outside a lot and come back inside a lot, too.
I’ve kind of worn off the paint on the bottom of the door from where I scratch to get back in the house. But here’s the thing. You’d want to get back In there too. And plus I’m not sure it’s polite to bark. At least not for things like that. I bark when I’m protecting the property and telling others to stay away and not come in but never to ask to come in myself. Anyway, in the scheme of things it’s not too bad I guess. And it’s just in one place. Jane says it’s kind of like my signature.
I confess though, at first and for quite a while I did used to pee and even poop on the fancy rugs in the fancy dining room. But it’s better if we don’t talk about that now.
The important thing is that I’m a very, very good dog now. In fact, I’m so good now that it’s almost like I’ve never been bad. And I’m so happy that it’s almost like I’ve never been sad.